Out and Back

My birthday in a parallel universe

I turned 31 earlier this week.  The day itself was pretty low-key, which was fine with me.  Now that I'm in my 30s, my birthdays are cause for introspective contemplation as opposed to partying like there's no tomorrow.  My husband gifted me with a copy of The Crack-Up by you-know-who, along with a DVD of what is arguably VK's sappiest movie (but oh how I love it so.)  My auntie sent me a $20, and my brother gave me a copy of Sherman Alexie's latest book. 

My parents were visiting from Seattle, and they gave me a pair of diamond earrings.  Long story short: I had purchased a pair for myself about two and a half years ago -- my rationale being if I waited around for my husband to buy stuff like that for me I'd be waiting for the rest of my life -- and I wore them constantly because they went with everything.  Then, tragically, this past September as I was preparing to check out of the scummy Quality Inn in Allentown, PA, I left one earring sitting on the counter beside the sink and didn't realize it until I was well on my way down the road.  I was bummed out by the loss, but thoroughly touched that my parents decided to surprise me with a replacement pair for my birthday.  I'm too afraid of losing them again to start wearing them just yet, but I'll get over that soon enough, I suppose.

I baked my own birthday cake (with a little help from Mom) and we went to Sonic for a lunch of chili-cheese Coneys and onion rings.  (I can't quite get over the fact that Sonic calls their hot dogs "Coneys," but I appreciate the reference nonetheless.)  I thought to myself that a better birthday lunch would have been a Nathan's dog, some clam strips, and a beer on the boardwalk at the real Coney Island, but I was happy with my fast food chain facsimile.  We had dinner at a local pizza joint (again, not Totonno's, but still delicious) and then headed back to my apartment for peppermint-fudge birthday cake, which was also quite tasty.

Hey, STELLAAAAA!

On Sunday morning, I parked on the sofa with a cup of coffee and watched A Streetcar Named Desire on DVD.  I had rented it on Saturday night, and as I watched it I asked myself yet again why -- when I love this film so much and watch it whenever I happen to run across it on television and go out of my way to rent it periodically -- I don't yet own my own copy.  Note to self: BUY THIS MOVIE!

My first exposure to Streetcar was in 1991, when I saw a production of the play at the Intiman Theatre in Seattle.  I was just 15 years old and probably a little naive for some of the mature themes addressed by Tennessee Williams in this seminal work, but that production absolutely took my breath away.  My mom and I watched Elia Kazan's film version a few years later.  Marlon Brando's and Viven Leigh's performances were the stuff of dreams for me... some of the first exposures I have to what film and theatre aficionados refer to as "groundbreaking performances" or, more simply, "good acting."

Having just watched the film again this weekend, though, I have to say that I prefer Williams' original play.  (If you've not seen either, I'd recommend not reading further unless you want me to wreck the story for you.)

The changes to the story that Kazan was forced to make as a result of the sensibilities of the day (most notably, the ending -- Stella leaves Stanley after learning he has raped Blanche) don't sit well with me.  In the play, Stella chooses to stand by her husband, and while the feminist in me gets a little riled at that thought, seeing her leave him in the movie version doesn't work for me, either.

I have always loved Stella Kowalski.  Having taken a few acting classes and spent some time around the theatre world, I can say with certainty that it is the role of Stella's fragile, unbalanced sister, Blanche DuBois, that actresses of a certain age and "type" aspire to play.  Not me.  I always wanted to be Stella, to explore her ferocious attraction to the brutish Stanley and hover on the edge of that precipiece... to find Stella's buried strength and bravery, to inhabit her and harness her power.  I believe her wholeheartedly when she says:

...there are things that happen between a man and a woman in the dark -- that sort of make everything else seem -- unimportant.

That line was excised from the movie, too... and it is Stella's unstoppable desire for her husband (coupled with a healthy dose of fear and denial, I might add) that drives her back to him, even after his seemingly unforgivable act of violence toward her sister.  I know that attraction, that desperate, all-consuming need.  And I admire Stella's fearlessness in giving in to it.  In a perfect world, she would walk away from him in the end, as she does in the movie... but it will always ring truer to me to have her remain with him.  She's a little bit trapped, but she's a little bit deliberate, too.  And I don't think it's fair to underestimate her power... because now she's got the goods on Stanley.

Yes, I will always love her.  I made the decision a long time ago to name my daughter Stella, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have one.  And when she's old enough, I'll introduce her to the play, the movie, and the character that inspired her name.

Stella for star...

Kissin' Cousins

The hubby and I had a lovely Christmas.  We got up early to drink coffee and open our gifts while the cats played with the paper and ribbons, and then we headed up to the Scranton area to have Christmas brunch with my cousin and her husband and their two kids.  We got home around 7 p.m., in time to call our families on the west coast to wish them a merry Christmas, too.

I love my cousin and her family, and it's nice to spend time together.  She is an attorney and occasionally has depositions down in the Lehigh Valley, so she lets me know when she is in town so we can do lunch.  It is nice to have a little bit of family close by, especially when the rest of our family is so far-flung.

During the drive home, my husband asked me exactly how my cousin and I are related.  All I could articulate was that our grandmothers were sisters and that my mom and her dad are first cousins.  I was totally befuddled by the first-cousin, second-cousin, once-removed thing, so this morning I did a Google search and found a handy little table which explains it all.  Since our common ancestor is our great-grandparents, that makes her my second cousin.  Her father is my first cousin once removed, and her children are my second cousins once removed.

If you have a large extended family like I do (my maternal grandparents had a lot of siblings, which translates to lots of great-aunts and uncles and distant cousins) this chart is very helpful for figuring out how you're all related.  It's worth a peek, and you'll be well-prepared for the next family get-together.