Out and Back

Goodbye, Anna

When I was in my mid-teens, Anna Nicole Smith was the face of the Guess? clothing brand.  During my teen years, a Guess? denim mini-skirt was a must-have if you were a girl.  I can't remember if I had one or not, though.  I probably did.

I was a pretty girl when I was a teenager, but I wasn't stick-thin and buried under layers of makeup like the spoiled, superficial girls that seemed to make up the majority of the female population at my high school.  I was also smart, studious, and very well-behaved.  As you can imagine, I went to school because the law said I had to (and because I wanted to get good grades so I could get into a good college) but the richest aspects of my life during that time were those that I nurtured outside of the classroom.

As I imagine is the case with most teenagers, high school did a real number on my self-esteem.  Nowadays, I look at photos of myself from those years and I am in awe at how cute I was, but at the time I pretty much hated the way I looked.  This was during the early-90s starved-model craze, where skinnier-than-thou models like Kate Moss were crawling up and down the catwalks and flaunting their bony bodies in print ads, so the pressure to be sickly-thin was definitely there.  I knew girls (and boys) at my school who had eating disorders, and I saw how the imperfect among us were marginalized by our peers.  To this day, I believe that if you can survive high school, you can survive anything.

I still remember the first Guess? ad I saw featuring Anna Nicole Smith.  I think it was in Rolling Stone magazine, of all places.  She was wearing a sleeveless plaid blouse, knotted at the waist, and a pair of jeans.  Her stunning blonde har cascaded around her face, and I was completely shocked and overjoyed by what I was seeing.  Here was a real woman.  A woman with breasts, hips, curves, and flesh.  I remember thinking -- at the tender age of 16 -- that she was so gorgeous, and I remember feeling so reassured by her presence in an ad in a mainstream magazine.  Anna Nicole's Guess? ads helped me start to love myself a little more.

As a result, for the last fifteen years or so, I've had a soft spot in my heart for her.  Like anyone with even a vague awareness of popular culture, I witnessed her struggles, her addictions, her pain.  I went from admiring her to pitying her, but I always loved her.  Even in the tabloid-exploited incoherence that ruled the last few years of her life, I remembered her radiance.  When I learned she had passed away, I felt genuine sadness, although most anyone -- even Anna herself, by some accounts -- could have predicted that she wouldn't live to a ripe old age.

I've been turning away from all the news coverage surrounding the disposition of her remains, the paternity and custody of her baby daughter, and the nutsy judge who's been presiding over things.  It makes me sick.  People who claim to have loved her fighting over her even after her death, and a judge who's just in it for the fifteen minutes of fame.  She's gone.  Let her go.

Thank you, Anna.  I love you and wish you peace.

Too sick to write

A while back, I was hit with a truly "novel" idea -- an actual idea for a novel.  Well, the seed of one, anyway.  I still really like my idea and I've been batting it around in various incarnations for the past couple of months or so, but I don't have a lot of actual words on the page yet.  (I have some, just not many, and they're all disjointed.  My pattern so far is to write whatever scene I feel like writing.... I figure I'll piece them together later.)

I'm also researching, doing writing exercises, and thinking.  (It is amazing how little actual writing is involved in the writing process at times.)  Lately, though, between my stomach complaints and this recently-acquired chest cold, I haven't felt like doing anything related to the telling of my story.   (And now I'm so deep into the avoidance maze that I'm blogging about the fact that I'm not writing.  As Charlie Brown would say, "Good grief!")

Maybe I'll work on fleshing out all of the characters.... I have them all in mind but I need to sit down and figure out who they really are, from the color of their eyes to their personality quirks to what they do for a living.  That sounds manageable.

Ugh

After four solid years of happy, trouble-free digestion, my IBS has returned with a vengeance during the past couple of weeks.  All the joyful symptoms -- bloating, constipation, uncontrollable nausea, spending hours in the bathroom -- are back.  In addition, I find myself getting dizzy while just sitting on the sofa.  Blech.

So I'm back on my anxiety diet of saltines, ginger ale, mint tea, and fiber supplements.

Yummy. 

I would not wish this on my worst enemy.  The good news is that Tisbe, who is usually a cranky little beast, seems to know that I don't feel good.  She keeps me company in the bathroom and curls up with me on the sofa.  Heck, she even purrs now and then.

More boiling blood

I found this account via feministing.com, a great feminist blog that I read regularly.  It's about a woman's attempt to get a prescription for emergency contraception, also known as Plan B or the morning-after pill.  Needless to say, I was livid after I finished reading it.

Anyone who thinks that the feminist movement is "over" or "tired" or "irrelevant," or just a bunch of man-hating bitches who need an excuse to become lesbians or something ridiculous like that should take a look at this article.  As long as there are self-righteous people (male and female) trying to keep us from controlling our own bodies, we'll be around to fight back. 

I wonder what would happen if a female doctor refused to prescribe Viagra for a single guy because she had a "moral objection" to the fact that he would most likely go out and fuck everything with two tits and a pulse?

Grr.

I leave you with one of my favorite slogans:

Because woman's work is never done
and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or
repetitious and we're the first to get fired
and what we look like is more important
than what we do and if we get raped it's
our fault and if we get beaten we must have
provoked it and if we raise our voices we're
nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're
nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if
we ask our doctors too many
questions, we're neurotic and/or pushy and
if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we
stand up for our rights we're aggressive and
"unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical
weak females and if we want to get married
we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're
unnatural and because we still can't get
adequate safe contraception but man can walk
on the moon and... for lots and lots
of other reasons, we are part of the
women's liberation movement.

Hacking up lung turtles

When my husband had this cold, it was a head cold.  When I caught it, it paused in my throat for a couple of days before migrating to my chest where it has set up housekeeping.  I am reminded of those commercials for Mucinex, where the little mucus guy (appropriately named Mr. Mucus) unpacks his bags in somebody's lungs and settles in to see what's on the tube.  (See photo at left.)

I shouldn't be surprised, because I have always had fragile lungs... respiratory bugs go right for them.  I have lost count of the number of times I had pneumonia as a child.  I also have asthma... when I was kid, if I laughed too hard or too long I would start wheezing.  (I don't know if that would still happen to me as an adult, because nothing has made me laugh that hard or that long in ages.)

I've been drinking a lot of Traditional Medicinals' Breathe Easy tea over the past few days.  It smells kind of funky but it does seem to help.

And hey, at least I have a sexy voice, if only temporarily.

Yoga

I went to a yoga class today during my lunch hour.  It was my first yoga class in at least three or four years, and it was really nice to be back doing that again.  The pace of the class was very nice and the postures were all pretty accessible.  The instructor took time to explain the whys and wherefores instead of just demonstrating the poses, and she even gave each of us a hug as we left the class.  Very cool.  I left feeling relaxed and very much in tune with my body... and happy because we did some of my favorite poses, including child's pose and the crocodile pose.  (No downward facing dog today -- another favorite of mine -- but there's always next time.)

Today's class made me want to supplement my yoga practice with a few yoga DVDs that I still have lying around, and I'm also feeling like busting out my Lotte Berk Method DVDs again.  For me, exercise is about variety, and from what I understand, that's a good thing.  I've read that it's important to vary your exercise routine (unfortunately, at the moment mine varies from "exercising sporadically" to "not exercising at all") because if you don't, your body gets used to it and the health benefits slow down or cease.

I'll let you know how it goes...

Cold comfort

My husband caught a cold earlier this week, and now I think I am beginning to come down with it.  (I have that tell-tale scratch in my throat.)  Fortunately, I have stocked up on my tried-and-true cold treatments so hopefully I will be able to successfully beat it back.  I thought I would share what is in my "cold arsenal" today.  There is no cure for the common cold, but I have found that these treatments come pretty close:

1. Zicam Zinc Nasal Gel
This stuff is amazing.  If you start using it at the first sign of a cold, it does a very good job of reducing the severity and duration of your symptoms.  My doctor recommended it to me a few years ago.  If you go to the Zicam website, you can read up on some of the clinical studies that have proven its efficacy in fighting the common cold.

2. Cold-Eeze Zinc Lozenges
The jury is still out on whether or not zinc lozenges actually do any good when it comes to fighting the common cold, but I find using the Cold-Eeze lozenges in conjunction with Zicam provides a good one-two punch to my colds.  (The cherry-flavored ones are my favorite.  If nothing else, sucking on a lozenge eases sore throat pain.)  Be careful, though - one side effect of the Cold-Eeze lozenges is nausea (Zinc can be rough on an empty stomach), so I usually only take them after eating something. 

3. Advil Cold & Sinus
Who knew that a simple decongestant combined with ibuprofen could be so effective at minimizing cold symptoms?  I still refer to Advil Cold & Sinus as my "miracle drug" when I need to quash my symptoms.  This comes in very handy when I can't stay home and eat chicken soup!

4. Traditional Medicinals Throat Coat Tea
This is the most wonderful, soothing tea for a sore throat.  It is almost syrupy in its consistency, and it tastes good, too.  It does a great job of coating your sore throat and alleviating the pain.  I usually brew two bags at once and gargle it a little before swallowing.

5. Delsym Cough Syrup
My allergist recommended this to me and I find it works better and lasts longer than any other cough medicine I have tried.  It is especially nice to use at night because you don't wake up at 3 a.m. coughing.

6. Halls Defense Vitamin C Drops
The jury is also still out on whether or not vitamin C helps when you have a cold, but I like these drops because, again, sucking on something really helps a sore throat if nothing else.  The strawberry-flavored ones are the best in my opinion.

If you haven't tried any of these, give a couple of them a shot the next time you find yourself coming down with a cold... they will definitely help!