Out and Back

Revolutionary spirits...

Now that I'm a crazed road warrior, I get most of my news from USA Today -- either the online version or the print edition left outside my hotel room door. This afternoon, while unwinding from a long day, I came across this interesting article. Rev. Gary Kowalski, a Unitarian Universalist minister, has written a fascinating-looking book called Revolutionary Spirit: The Enlightened Faiths of America's Founding Fathers. In the book, Kowalski takes on the obnoxious myth that our nation's founders were Christians and that our country was founded on (big air quotes here) "Christian values." From the article:

Instead, [Kowalski] depicts them as curious, strong-spirited, scientifically-minded men who were determined to keep religion out of government.

"I wanted to set the record straight," said Kowalski, 54, senior minister at the First Unitarian Universalist Society in Burlington, Vt. "I really felt that their legacy had been misappropriated by the religious right."

Before he could educate the public, Kowalski had to educate himself.

He first became interested in the early Americans' spiritual beliefs as an undergraduate at Harvard. In 2003, Kowalski could no longer tolerate what he saw as an influx of historical inaccuracy, and set about researching the true spiritual nature of the historical icons.

As an unwilling resident of South Carolina, which is rife with wingnuts who actually believe we're a Christian country, this article definitely piqued my interest. (If you think I'm lying about the wingnuts, here's some food for thought: the county where I live went for Huckabee in the Republican primary on January 19. Barf.) I'm looking forward to reading the book; I cannot tell you how many times I have read remarks on the editorial pages of the newspapers around here lamenting the fact that the "Christian" values our country was supposedly found upon have gone down the tubes. Good grief. When I finish Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, I'm definitely picking up Kowalski's book.

Gone too soon...

I got home from work this afternoon and checked out Perez Hilton (one of my guilty internet pleasures) and was very shocked to see the news that actor Heath Ledger had passed away. He was just 28 years old.

While I'll admit to enjoying the occasional supermarket tabloid and to checking out Perez Hilton regularly to chuckle at the latest celebrity gossip, I also profess a great love for movies and the actors and actresses that help bring them to life. And that love is sincere and reverent and, I think, transcends the baser instinct that drives me to read about Britney Spears' latest antics and shake my head in disbelief.

Like a lot of people, I first saw Heath Ledger in the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, a modern update of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. He played the Petruchio character (Patrick) opposite Julia Stiles' Katerina (Kat in the film.) It was a movie squarely aimed at teenagers, but it was more intelligent than most. I liked it so well that I actually bought a copy when it was released on video. It was funny, cute, and smart, and the two leads definitely left an impression on me. I still giggle at Patrick's impromptu serenade -- singing "You're Just Too Good To Be True (Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You)" to Kat from the bleachers during soccer practice.

Of course, most people (myself included) would argue that Ledger's greatest success came with his portrayal of Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain. It's still difficult for me to find adequate words to explain the emotional impact that movie had on me in general, let alone to describe how deeply I was moved by Ledger's performance (and that of his co-star, Jake Gyllenhaal.) All I can do is tell you to rent that movie and watch it -- of all the films Heath Ledger made, I think it's the one that shows most clearly what a powerful and gifted artist he was. It's hard to describe such talent in the past tense.   

The culture of victim-blaming is alive and well

Stepping out from behind my semi-anonymous blogging persona for a moment, I was dismayed (but not altogether surprised) to read a report in one of the local papers about a sexual assault on the Clemson University campus. (My husband is a grad student at Clemson and we live nearby.)

The story reads, in part:

Clemson University police advised students Friday to walk in groups of threes and fours after sunset after a student reported that she was sexually assaulted by two men in a campus parking lot on Perimeter Road early Friday morning.

The student, 18, was exiting her car when one of the men grabbed her from behind and sexually attacked her in Parking lot R-1 about 1:30 a.m., Clemson Police Chief Johnson Link said. She said she was then forced to the ground and attacked by a second man, he said.

She had been waiting in the parking lot for campus escort assistance, Link said. The campus escort is a service offered through the university Police Department that provides an escort for students going across the campus at night.

The student notified Clemson educators several hours later, Link said.

Like a lot of newspapers, the online edition of the Greenville News has a "story chat" feature that allows readers to post their reactions, comments, and thoughts about the various articles, opinion pieces, etc. It makes for entertaining reading a lot of the time, but sometimes the comments that get left are just upsetting. In the case of this article, someone named sillyhunter posted the following (emphases mine):

This story has some questions................Why was this child out in a parking lot this late? Why wait to report a rape later the next morning.....Had enough time to decide if it was a rape or not?? And if she doesn't know about safety in this day and age maybe college is not for her. Sounds like she still needs to be under the watchful eye of a responsible adult. Maybe went to a frat party and had one drink to many and got just a little too loose and had party regrets the next morning??????It's always somebody else's fault never the victim. The difference between a stupid victim and smart person is that one is the victim.

I just about upchucked when I read that comment. I posted my own response (I use the handle "coneydog" when posting to the forums on the Greenville News website) and was heartened to see that someone else posted a response basically telling sillyhunter to shut up.

Yes, dear ones, the culture of victim blaming is alive and well in South Carolina. I guess I'm not surprised, considering how much misogyny still pervades society down here. Any locals who come across this post are probably going to tell me to go the fuck home, Yankee, but I'm not backing down on this one. Rape is an underreported crime, and despite the notoriety of the Duke lacrosse rape case (in which the charges were eventually dropped because the alleged victim kept changing her story and there was no physical evidence linking her to the three players she accused) the number of truly false reports of rape remains quite low. (One reference I found suggested as low as 2% of all reported rapes in the U.S. are false.) And for every rape that is reported, how many go unreported because the victim is ashamed, afraid, or forcibly silenced?

Ladies, it doesn't matter how much you had to drink, what you were wearing, how well you knew the guy, or what you may or may not have done with him in the past. If you didn't want to have sex with him and he went ahead and fucked you anyway, he raped you. It doesn't matter if you fought back or not or if you told him to stop or not, because silence does not equal consent. And to the young woman at Clemson, I hope they catch the pigs that did this to you. For every insensitive creep that calls you "loose" and accuses you of having "party regrets," there are many more of us who care about you and support you without ever having met you. Remember that.

Congratulations, Al Gore

Finally, Al has won something that George W. Bush and the Supreme Court can't steal from him -- I couldn't be more pleased for him and for the cause of advancing awareness of climate change.

I can't believe I live here

I read the local newspapers online so I can keep up with what's going on at "home."  This evening, while perusing the Anderson Independent Mail, I came across this story:

ANDERSON COUNTY — Two disputes over the proper way to prepare a customer’s meal led to fingers in the face and bodies on the floor at an Anderson County Burger King.

Both incidents needed intervention by Anderson County Sheriff’s deputies at the fast-foot restaurant in the 300 block of S.C. 28 Bypass.

According to the incident reports:

The first 911 call was received at 3:53 p.m. Tuesday.

The second call was received about 40 minutes later.

In the first dispute, two 16-year-old girls, suffering scratches to their necks and faces, threw punches after arguing over the proper way to prepare a chicken sandwich.

No arrests were made.

But minutes later, another employee went to jail.

The second fight, including fingers in the face and two women on the floor, broke out about 4:30 p.m. when one 17-year-old female employee confronted another teenage girl, accusing the 17-year-old of not doing anything to stop the first dispute.

Shamika Smith of Anderson, who reportedly scratched Amanda Green, was charged with assault and battery and taken to the Anderson County Detention Center.

Sigh. Nothing like a girlfight at Burger King making the local paper to make one realize what is really important in life.

Sic 'em, Tisbe!

This walking slag-heap (who lives in nearby Georgia) thought it would be nice to feed live cats and kittens to his pit bulls.  What an utterly pathetic excuse for a human being.  I'll bet you a million bucks he's one of those good ol' boy types who didn't neuter his dogs, either... afraid it would take away their manhood or some such bullshit.

Too bad he never met my cat, Tisbe. She'd have taken his face off.  If the judge who sentences him is looking for a creative punishment, I'd be happy to loan Tisbe to the cause.

I'm well aware of the link between cruelty to animals and cruelty to humans.  Men who abuse animals frequently also abuse women and children, and I think the punishments for these kinds of offenders should take that fact into account.

Get him, Tisbe!

I'm double-blogging!

I've been posting here at Out and Back since May of 2005, and have every intention of continuing.  However, over the past few months, I've found that I've become quite the wizard when it comes to successfully navigating the frequently-choppy waters of business travel.  I decided to share my wisdom, and I felt the best forum for doing that would be on a new blog. To that end, I am proud to announce the launch of Prescription Suitcase: The Cure for your Travel Headaches.

Check it out, if you're so inclined.  It's just getting started, so I don't have a lot up at the moment and I am still trying to work out how it will be structured, how frequently I will post, etc.  I also don't plan to be too blatant about the fact that Prescription Suitcase and Out and Back are written by the same person, so you'll notice that PS doesn't link to OaB, nor the other way 'round.  But if you bother to check out what's happening here at OaB, I figured you deserved to hear about PS, too.  Come on over and sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

Seven years (and no itch!)

Just a short post to wish my husband a happy 7th anniversary.  We've been married for seven years today (and no itching to speak of, at least none that a little hydrocortisone cream can't cure.)

Love you, honey!

Excuse me while I throw things...

I was dismayed yesterday to learn that the U.S. Supreme Court had ruled against the plaintiff (and the EEOC, I might add) in this case.  Here's the gist: according to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, employees who experience discrimination in the work place are required to file suit within 180 days.  The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has argued over the years that "each paycheck that reflects the initial discrimination is itself a discriminatory act that resets the clock on the 180-day period[.]"  Today, the Supreme Court effectively told the EEOC to stick that interpretation where the sun don't shine.  So now employees can't sue for pay discrimination more than 180 days after the discrimination allegedly occurred... which means that employers are going to get away with continuing to pay women and minorities less than their white male counterparts and employees who are experiencing discrimination will have an even harder time getting their cases heard.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg opened a can of dissenting whoop-ass today, though, reading her dissenting opinion from the bench, which doesn't happen very often.  According to the New York Times article:

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said the majority opinion “overlooks common characteristics of pay discrimination.” She said that given the secrecy in most workplaces about salaries, many employees would have no idea within 180 days that they had received a lower raise than others.

An initial disparity, even if known to the employee, might be small, Justice Ginsburg said, leading an employee, particularly a woman or a member of a minority group “trying to succeed in a nontraditional environment” to avoid “making waves.” Justice Ginsburg noted that even a small differential “will expand exponentially over an employee’s working life if raises are set as a percentage of prior pay."

Rock on, Justice Ginsburg.  And props to Justices Souter, Stephens, and Breyer for not having their heads up their asses.

In April, the American Association of University Women released the findings of a study it conducted over the course of several years about the pay gap.  Their findings?  The pay gap is real and it gets worse for women the longer they are in the work force.  You can read more about it here.  Then write to your elected officials and tell them to get off their butts and support the Paycheck Fairness Act and the Fair Pay Act.

Pot, have you met Kettle?

Get this: Newt Gingrich admits that he was screwing around on his wife at the same time he was going after Clinton over the whole Monica Lewinsky thing.

But he's not a hypocrite, no... because he didn't lie to a judge about it.

Flimsy excuse if you ask me.... if he'd had to testify about his own affair, you can bet the bastard would have perjured himself.  What kind of red-blooded male will actually admit that he's cheating on his wife?  And even if ol' Newtie didn't lie to a judge, he sure as hell lied to his wife at the time. 

I'm not the only who feels this way.... check out this little ditty by Eric Schwartz.  (It's not about Newt, directly, but it does draw a lovely comparison between Clinton and Bush.)

Dreadful

As much as I would like to ignore the news most days (too damn depressing), I usually tune in to some news outlet or another at some point during the day.  I like to have at least a vague idea of what is going on in the world, in the country, and in my little corner of South Carolina.

Sometimes, though, in the quest to be informed, I hear news stories that I wish I could go back and "un-hear."  Such was the case this week when I heard about Tara Grant, the Michigan wife, businesswoman, and mother of two who was strangled and dismembered by her husband in early February.  (He was arrested over the weekend and the big news yesterday was that he had confessed.)

We'll probably never know why Tara's husband, Stephen, killed her... police said that they had argued shortly before her death about her frequent business trips... but I have a hard time believing that that was the only motive.  At any rate, it will take someone with more psychiatric prowess than I have to see into the mind and motivation of a man like that.

I suppose the one thing I've taken away from this tragedy is that we don't know our loved ones nearly as well as we think we do.  If someone had asked Tara on her wedding day if she thought her husband would kill her in the future, she probably would have been horrified at such a suggestion.  It's like what the neighbors say when they find out they've been living next to a serial killer for years: "Oh, he seemed like such a nice person.  Quiet, kept to himself, never caused anybody any trouble."  I guess we never really know.

You Nazi cow

The crazy-ass conservative soccer moms are at it again.  This time, it's some beyotch down in Georgia (just a little ways from me) who is trying to get the Harry Potter books banned from the school libraries in Gwinnett County on account of the fact that they supposedly advocate witchcraft.

Oh, please.

I'm reminded of my favorite scene in Field of Dreams when Amy Madigan's character takes on the book-burning beyotch at the PTA.  "Step outside, you Nazi cow!"

News flash: Harry Potter's been around for years now.  J.K. Rowling is almost finished with the series.  Have we seen legions of young readers turning to witchcraft, devil-worship, and all those other horrible, horrible things that the Nazi cows are afraid of?  I don't fucking think so.  Get bent, Laura Mallory.

OK, this makes my blood boil

I still keep up with the news in Allentown as much as I can, and this story really got my attention.  To sum up, earlier this week, a woman was carjacked while shopping at the Lehigh Valley Mall.  The carjacker pulled a knife on her, forced her into the car, and drove off with her.  In addition, the asshole sexually assaulted her and when he ordered her to go down on him while he was driving, she decided she'd had enough and jumped out of the car onto route 33 at a very high rate of speed.  Fortunately, she survived the jump and is in the hospital recovering.  The best news of all is that the carjacking little bastard was captured in Mississippi early yesterday morning.

Here's why this story got me all riled up.  For two years, I lived in a beautiful, historic Allentown neighborhood in a fantastically unique house.  In two years, the only crime-related problems we had were a hit-and-run sideswiping of my car, and a break-in to the same car about a year later.  Yes, those incidents were annoying, bothersome, and inconvenient.  But I would like to take a second to point out that those two types of incidents are endemic anywhere you have to park your car on the street or in a driveway.  Stuff like that could happen in the suburbs, too.  Or in the parking lot of the toniest apartment complex.  Anyway, despite the abuse my poor car took, I always felt very safe in our neighborhood, and as we all know, I loved my house.

However, whenever I told anyone where I lived, I got a wide-eyed stare and a, "why on earth would you want to live down there?" or "the crime is so terrible there," or "hope you speak Spanish!" or some other disparaging comment about my neighborhood.  One woman told me that her husband had told her never to drive down 7th Street (which is one block over from where we used to live) after dark.  Poppy-freakin'-cock, people.  I've driven down 7th Street at all hours of the day and night and nothing bad has ever happened to me.

So I would like to take a second to point the following out to all those haters whose ignorance perpetuated a lot of negative stereotypes about my wonderful Allentown neighborhood:  A WOMAN WAS ABDUCTED AT KNIFEPOINT (AND SEXUALLY ASSAULTED) FROM OUTSIDE THE JC PENNEY AT YOUR PRECIOUS, SAFE, SUBURBAN LEHIGH VALLEY MALL!!!!

Why on earth would you want to go shopping there?

And you people think Allentown is rough...

Link: Camden, NJ Ranked Most-Dangerous City.

During the two years my husband and I spent living in Philadelphia, we made the journey to Camden exactly twice.  (This doesn't count the numerous times we scooted through Camden en route to Cherry Hill, NYC, or the Jersey Shore.)  Both times, we were in Camden to see concerts at the Tweeter Center.  The first time we went was in the dead of winter to go see David Gray.  We took the PATCO trian across from downtown Philly and walked the fairly short distance to the Tweeter Center.  If my husband hadn't been with me, I don't think I would have felt safe making the walk.  Granted, it was a cold late-January evening, but the streets we traversed were absolutely deserted and yet it seemed like danger was lurking around every corner.  Fortunately, when the concert let out there was a good deal more foot traffic heading back to the train station, so I felt a little safer.

The second concert was in the summer, so we took the ferry across the Delaware and walked through a nicely landscaped park area to get to the Tweeter Center.  The contrast was pretty amazing.  Lots of people on the ferry, lots of foot traffic to the venue, etc.  It is amazing what a little nice weather (and daylight) can do for a town.

There have been a lot of efforts to revitalize Camden, and from what I can tell they are making progress.  There are loft apartments going in on the riverfront, and there has been talk for years of putting in a tramline across the river (sort of like what connects Roosevelt Island to Manhattan.  It will be interesting to see what's next in the ongoing revolution of Camden.

Hero's welcome

I was greeted with a hero's welcome at work today.  Everyone wanted to hear the story of how I thwarted the theft of my purse.  Several of the women I work with were impressed by the fact that I was ballsy enough to confront the guy and grab my purse back from him.  I don't really know that that was terribly gutsy -- he had my stuff and I wanted it back.  It wasn't like he was sticking me up at gun- or knife-point.  One colleague cheerfully exclaimed, "Hey, it's McGruff the Crime Dog!" when she saw me, and I chuckled.

I remember vividly those PSAs from my childhood -- McGruff ominously warns us not to get in cars with strangers, not to use drugs, and, above all else, to "help take a bite out of crime."  I did a little research on the 'net and discovered that McGruff is still around and still taking bites out of crime.  His latest PSAs have to do with bullying and other issues that young kids face today, but the essence of his message remains the same: everyone, even the very young, can learn how to protect themselves and prevent crime.  It must have sunk in somewhere along the line for me!

Check out McGruff's new website here.  It's pretty neat!

Bungled burglars and twists of fate

I had an experience today which was unsettling, to say the least.  Fortunately, it ended well.  My purse was almost stolen at work today.  The department in which I work is spread out over three floors of one building.  One colleague and I inhabit a small office on the third floor, there is another cluster of colleagues on the second floor, and yet another group on the first floor.  As you can probably imagine, my job involves a lot of rides on the elevator (or trips up and down the stairs if I'm feeling ambitious) depending on which of my co-workers I need to see.

Normally, when I am at work, I chuck my purse under my desk, where it is well out of the way and not obvious unless someone is deliberately searching for it.  My computer tower conceals it partially, and when my chair is pushed up close to the desk it is very difficult to see.  This afternoon at a few minutes to four, I headed downstairs to ask two of my colleagues a question, and to deliver some papers to a third colleague.  My first stop was on the second floor -- I got my question answered and chatted with my colleagues for a few minutes, and then made my way out of their office to begin my descent to the first floor.  Just as I was stepping into the hallway, I saw a man walking slightly ahead of me.  He was dressed in grubby jeans and a white polo-style shirt, and he had my purse tucked under his right arm.

He heard me behind him and turned to me as if to ask where the restroom or a particular office was.  Before he could get the words out, I asked, "Why do you have my purse?"  He replied, "This isn't your purse -- it's my wife's.  She left it upstairs and I went to get it for her."  By this point, I had recognized my heart-shaped keychain from the Swiss Bank, and I knew he was mistaken.  I stepped closer to him and said, "No, that's definitely my purse.  I recognize my keys."  He kept insisting that it wasn't mine, that it belonged to his wife.  Decisively, I grabbed it away from him, set it down on a table nearby, and said, "Let me show you."  He continuned to protest, but I whipped out my wallet and waved my driver's license in his face.  "You see that?" I fairly shrieked, pointing at the small photo of myself on the license.  "That's ME!  WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO DO?"  I kept stepping closer and closer to him, daring him to deny the truth of the matter.

He said, "There must be some kind of mix-up.  I'm going to go get my wife.  She's just downstairs."  And then he took off.  I hollered to my co-worker down the hall to call security, that some guy had just tried to steal my purse.  Our security officers made a thorough check of the area surrounding our building, but the would-be thief had gotten away.  They took a report from me and thanked me for calling them.  I was able to give them a pretty good description of the guy, right down to the Howard Johnson logo on his white polo shirt.  I warned all of my female co-workers to double check and make sure their purses were still present.  It seemed that mine was the only one the guy had gotten to.

A frightening post-script to this is that my office-mate was in our office when my purse was taken, and she didn't hear a thing.  The guy would have had to silence my jangling keys as he dug my purse out from under my desk, and on top of that she couldn't see over the partition that separates our two desks.  When I left the office, all the horrific scenarios ran through my head.  What if I had stepped into the hallway just ten seconds later, or earlier?  What if he had actually gotten away with my purse?  My keys, wallet, and checkbook were in there, and he would have had a pretty nice time with all of that stuff, I would imagine.  It would have been short work for him to come to our house, let himself in, and help himself to whatever he wanted, never mind all the identity theft he could have successfully pulled off!

There were a couple of positive things, though... I realized, much to my relief, that I am in fact capable of being an aggressive bitch when I have to be.  I was prepared to tackle this guy for my $358 Coach signature tie-dye shoulder tote and its precious contents, so I must be tougher than I sometimes feel.  When the security officer was taking my statement, someone radioed him and he replied, "I'm here with the victim now."  Victim?  I don't fucking think so!!

The fact that I caught him in the act has reaffirmed my belief that things happen for a reason.  Someone or something was watching out for me, so maybe my karma isn't so bad after all.  And I have learned my lesson: from now on, my purse goes in a locked drawer.  Out of sight, out of (thief's) mind.

Here's hoping Tuesday is better!  Oh yeah, and if you see a skinny white guy with dirty jeans and a white polo with the Howard Johnson logo on it, beat him senseless for me.

News round-up

Just a few random musings regarding the news of the day/week....

The British: God save them!  Gotta love their strength and defiance in the face of last week's subway bombings.

Karl Rove: W, just FIRE THE BASTARD!

Rhenquist: One tough cookie.

Space Shuttle: Better safe than sorry.

Desperate Housewives Emmy Noms: YAY!

Brad Pitt has viral meningitis: And I'm supposed to care?

Harry Potter 6 out Saturday: Again, YAY!

Orioles vs. Mariners: Go Raffy!  3,000, baby!

In other news...

My friend who just moved to Seattle sent me the most hilarious email today.  She is careening ass-over-teakettle into the contradictions of east vs. west, Philly vs. Seattle.  I know she's gonna be OK, though... I went through the same thing when I moved to Philly.  She was bewildered by the whole pop vs. soda thing, and my response to her was, "Well, how do you think I felt the first time I encountered scrapple?"

Have a good one....

Mindful technology

My hubby found this very interesting article on the Amish and technology.  I thought it would be interesting to share on the blog.  We live a couple of hours from Lancaster county and whenever we pass that way we invariably see a few Amish working in their fields or their horse-drawn buggies traversing the roads beside us.  When we lived in Philly, we frequently bought produce and other items from the Amish vendors at the Reading Terminal Market, or we would enjoy a Pennsylvania Dutch breakfast at the Dutch Eating Place, also located in the market.  The food was some of the freshest I've ever tasted.  Even the scrapple was to die for.

After reading this article, I found myself deeply admiring the Amish for their mindfulness in adapting to "modern technology."  If the rest of us took the time to evaluate each new technological advance that came along rather than plunge blindly into using and relying on it, would our lives be better?  As the author of the article asks, "If we decided that community came first, how would we use our tools differently?"